11:22 a.m. - 02.28.2004
The House of the Spayed & Neutered
Holy shit I'm tired. Last night was the long awaited Gossip show and let me just say right now it was some hot shit. I fucking love that band. I think I would even say, and this is a big one, that they are among my top ten bands to see live right now. Their live show is amazing. I love the records, of course, but they're nothing compared to seeing them live. If I could pick any girl singers voice to have it would be Beth's. Plus her commentary about how she just got her period a few hours before the show started was hilarious. She came out on stage and immediately announced that she got her period and people cheered like crazy, including tons of boys. Why were they cheering? Was there a pregnancy scare I don't know about? Was it just a crowd hungry for blood? I couldn't tell you. But at one point she said, "I got new panties today and guess what I'm doing in 'em?" It was some good times. I guess I can bleed vicariously through her because I've been spayed like my cat. I busted out laughing the other day when I made the discovery that my house is the house of the spayed & neutered. Me and both my cats have had our shit cut. Now I know how they feel. Oh well. At least I'm not dead, right? Just some sort of eunuch. Okay, I can't really be a eunuch because I'm not a boy, but look at what I found when googling the word "eunuch" to make sure I was spelling it correctly, behold The Eunuch Archive!
A lot happened this week. The main big thing was a huge discussion with boy about my writing (for school, the stuff I've read in class, etc.) and what's going wrong. He said I'm not having as much fun with it, I'm not playing anymore, I'm just doing it to get it done, he can tell I'm holding back from hitting anything emotional. And he's right, I've been scared to tap into anything that I've gone through these past 6 months. He's not saying I have to write about cancer or anything, but that by being afraid to go anywhere near it I'm "taking heavy steps" in everything I write. At one point I was like, "But I don't want to be cancer girl anymore!" and he said, "But by avoiding it so much that's exactly what you're going to be!" It was very emotional and I got all cry-y. But it was very good. And I need to get my ass moving, the first 20 pages of my play are due on Wednesday plus a ton of other shit.
Today I have to help A. move and it's so exciting because she will now be only 2 blocks from me as opposed to way out in the suburbs. She is my main partner in crime so this is a huge development, people! Some VIP passes to a party hosted by Ludracris (no, I'm not even kidding, and no, I never go to "clubs" or shit like that) have been dangled in front of me for tonight but I so cannot go. I like that "when you move, i move, just like that" song. And the rest of that album is pretty okay and funny as hell if you don't mind the total misogyny. "Who let these ho's in my room, who let these ho's in my room, who let 'em iiinnnn?" But I have to stay in. Last night pretty much wiped me out. It was my first real show in 6 months, that Rilo Kiley show in January doesn't really count for several reasons: 1. It was early 2. It was acoustic 3. It was really what I was looking for in terms of my first show "back" and 4. I got to sit down which is a goddamn good thing because I would never have made it otherwise. That Gossip show last night kept my post-cancerous self out until almost 2 and I thought I was gonna collapse. And I did. Right into my bed. But, I did have to have some cheese and crackers first. They were yummy.
