12:05 p.m. - 01.28.2004
Domestic Bliss
Wow, yea, so I'm home. Just taking a shower in my own shower, in my own apartment, no one telling me to turn the music down, having total privacy. I'm digging it. Things are good. And, my hair has stopped falling out in clumps! I think it may be returning to normal.
The accupuncturist/herbalist woman is coming over in a hour. She is aweseome. The supplements/herbs/vitamins she has me on have made such a big difference. I'm not sure what we're doing today but I am just so happy to see her. And, did I mention she only charges $25 and she comes to your house?
The other good news is that for my yeah-you-don't-have-cancer-anymore present from C. is a visit to the reiki healer. This is the best present he could give me because I really wanted to see her again but I don't have the money. Sweet! I'm gonna make an appointment for sometime in the next few weeks.
I've been contemplating writing some sort of "thank you" email or letter to all of my friends. It's gushy and I probably won't do it, but I keep running over all of the things they've done to help me heal and it's overwhelming. I feel like making a list so people know I really know, you know? (duh) But I suppose I'll just sit around feeling supremely lucky instead.
I took a bath for the first time since before all of this started last night. I wasn't allowed to take baths because of the surgeries, the radiation, etc. because it would have been too hard on my skin. I made up for last time last night in a lovely bath surrounded by bubbles with a book in hand. I tried not to stare at my scar but it was tough, it kept hypnotizing me with it's redness. I ran my fingers over it again and again, thinking of how ugly it is, but then I tried to say fuck you to that ugly stuff and remember that I earned it. Big time. It's a part of me now and I'm not going to waste time thinking about how ugly it is. It's gonna fade and I'm not.
