6:40 p.m. - 10.21.2003
My First Day Out
I'm feeling better today. It was my first trip outside of the house besides going to the hospital in a month. I got my hair cut and my eyebrows waxed. My hair is way shorter than I've had it in a long time, it's all the way up to my chin. But I just had to do it because all of this cancer business has been really hard on my hair. I'm laying on it all the time and it's getting all snarly and damaged. It should be a lot easier to deal with, especially when the radiation and chemo start.
My next doctor's appointment is next Monday and I hope to find out more about when they want to start the radiation. It's going to be 5 days a week for 5 weeks, and it's going to be really hard and suckville. But I am dying to know what the whole procedure is going to be and how long it's going to go on. They want me to do this test chemo thing that would go on for 18 weeks, which could mean I can't go back to school for the spring semester either. That would kill me. I'm going to refuse it if I can. There's got to be another way. That would also put me out here at my parent's until April or something and I cannot handle that. I feel like I'm in a different world out here.
I ordered a bunch of books on cancer from Amazon, including on on alternative therapy options like eastern medicine, herbs, supplements, etc. I can't wait for them to get here because I hate feeling helpless, I always feel better when I can read a book about something. I also have a book that's something like "A Patient's Guide to Radiation and Chemotherapy."
I'm going to have visitors for the next few days, different friends coming out Wednesday and Thursday. It's very exciting to have something to talk about other than cancer!
