7:22 p.m. - 09.16.2003
Emergency Surgery Tomorrow
Well, I just found out a few hours ago that I have to have emergency surgery tomorrow. I went to the doctor today to talk about what to do because the medicine she gave me (about a month ago) still isn't working. I'm still bleeding and have horrible, debilitating cramps everyday. In fact, the past 4 mornings I've been woken up by terrible pain. The doctor said that the fibroids may have grown since my last test. They can grow as big as a cantelope and press into vital organs. Tomorrow she is going to remove those evil fibroids from my uterus.
Today was really bad, I've been really sick all day. I had to have blood taken so they can check my levels (for anemia, etc.) and it made me pass out. I have very small veins (good thing I don't shoot up!) and it's really hard to take my blood. I told the woman who was doing it that, but she totally disregarded what I said. I told her the best bet was to try my left hand first, but she proceeded to try both of my arms first. By the time she got to my hand I was starting to feel very woozy. As she was taking it out of my hand everything started to grow dark and I felt like I was in a tunnel. I said, "I'm going to pass out" and she started yelling for help. When I woke up I was covered in sweat and there were two nurses holding me up so I wouldn't slip out of the chair. Then they had me bend over and put my head by my knees and they put a cold towel on the back of my neck. I lay down for about a half-hour and then I felt okay enough to drive myself home.
Anyway, the doctor said that she doesn't want to wait anymore. She doesn't think any medicine is going to work, especially since even the double dose she gave me did nothing. I'm losing way too much blood everyday (I've been bleeding since May) and it has to be stopped. The medicine won't work, so it's surgery. Thanks to all this crap I'm now also anemic, which can lead to all kinds of complications. She thinks I will rebound from that once I have the surgery.
Also, as of today I'm off The Pill (Yasmin) because it didn't shrink the fibroids, plus it made me really sick. I've been hurling most every day because it makes me really nauscous. (The one good thing is that it's made me lose 10 pounds in 3 and a half weeks because of the nausea and hurliness. I'm just looking for a silver lining. I'm not endorsing hurling for weight loss!) So Yasmin's out and the patch is in for my birth control needs. Hopefully the patch won't make me sick. I know it's unattractive to have a white patch on your ass, but hey, if it will prevent me from becoming preggers I'm all for it! I'm supposed to start using it on Sunday.
Anyway, I'm really scared right now and I can't stop crying. It's not like I think I'm going to die from fibroid surgery, but I can't stop myself from thinking the worst. But it will all be over soon (hopefully) and I'll start feeling like myself again. Believe me, having your period for over 4 months isn't fun. I'm tired and weak everyday, I have severe cramps at least once a day, I'm very emotional and feel horrible about myself. I just feel disgusting. I can't afford to feel like this anymore, especially with school starting next week. I should feel fine by Monday, so this surgery shouldn't interfere with my classes.
I'm not sure when I'll be updating again, hopefully by Monday or so, maybe even sooner.
I guess I don't have anything else to say. I'm going to go pack a bag for the hospital now.
